Why

     Hey everyone, so I know that I haven't posted in about six months and I also know as well as you that I probably wont post for a while after this so, I thought I'd make this one pretty special.  Before or after you read this click on the link and watch Jake's story. http://www.hopeafterhope.com/ I dedicate this post to my Aunt Lisa, Uncle Brett and Jake.

     I realized that a lot of things happen in life that you can't really explain or control. You never know what lurks around the corner. My Aunt is an amazing person, she has been through so much since Jake. I don't know how to put this into words but I will try. After she lost Jake, I was stuck in a sort of pit. I was so sad and couldn't even begin to imagine why he had to leave, why couldn't stay with us. It was so hard for me to understand, it's still hard for me to understand.

     I kept thinking to myself, "he'll never get  to meet his family", "he'll never walk or say his first word, laugh, play peek'a'boo, enjoy life itself." As a child you can imagine how hard it is to realize why; why he had to leave. I cried so much and for so long, in fact sometimes I still cry, but I know now that its okay to cry. My mom, she helped me so much, every time I started to question things she was there. I love you so much mom.

     My Aunt lost Jake at 7 months. He came into this world on 4-1-14, he left that same day. He may have left this world even before. I never got to meet Jake Edward, a little boy who will never know, a little boy we will never know. My Aunt and Uncle stayed strong, they stayed together, they are amazing.

     Not to long ago, about 10 -12 weeks, my Aunt found out she was once again pregnant. We were all so happy and scared at the same time, I cried so much out of joy. I was so excited, I prayed every night in fear the same thing would happen to this new little bundle of joy as happened to Jake. Everyone said it would be fine, they said these kind of things don't happen twice. There is only one thing I can say about that; you never know whats around the next corner, you cant say what will happen next. I was left with that same question: Why?

     I cried when I found out. Again, another little baby who we never knew and will never know. I was stunned when I found out. I wasn't just sad this time I was mad. I was annoyed. Everyone said it would be okay, everyone said it wouldn't happen again, that this time we would get a little baby. They all jinxed it, they all lied to me. I was so angry and confused, I was so hurt. I am an emotional person, sometimes I can be too emotional, I can just say I'm sorry. I'm sorry these babies are not here. I'm sorry I was mad. I'm sorry I felt they lied.

     Now I dedicate this to my Aunt, Uncle and Jake not because its about them, but because it's how I feel, it's how I think, it's my dedication to the two little ones who never got to experience life. I am so thankful for all I Have and I know how little I could have but I don't I have more. I love my life even if I can't explain it or am confused or mad at some of the things that happened in it I love it. Aunt Lisa you are my greatest inspiration you never lost faith you kept trying I love you to the moon and back.

We're there for you

     

              I can't imagine what some people are going through right now. I just want everyone out there who is going through something tough right now to know that, we are here for you. I mean your family and friends. 

              I'm sure everyone who's gone through something tough can feel a little of what some people are going through. I know because I recently went through something myself. It didn't happen to me physically but, it hit home. 

              I really don't know what else to say accept, someone is always there. Everyone who cares about you would be there with the drop of a hat if they could be. I sincerely believe that everybody has at least one person if not hundreds who will stop everything just to go on down to you and be with you.

             Now , I know not everyone who reads this next sentence will get it but here it goes. I love you and miss you Aunt Lee Lee, and I hope you know I'm one of those hundreds that's there for you.     

Its all fun and games

               



                        When I started school this year I thought it would be all fun and games. As I got into the school year I realized there is always a lot of work you have to complete before the fun and games.

       For example I went to E.C.M.E.A all county chorus. On one Saturday rehearsal we practiced for an hour and a half, then had a break,after that we worked again, and yet had another break and so on so forth. That's what I mean when I say Work before the fun and games (or a break).

       Here's a piece of advice for all those people who go straight the fun and skip the work, do your work and then the fun, in the long run your going to be happier than you would have been if you skipped the work and went to the fun.

Motto

                 Everybody has a motto. Even if you hadn't thought about it yet. I have two motto's.


              "Your a misfit born to fit, and a puzzle just waiting to be solved,"
                      - Isabella DiGesare
 
              "Why try and fit in if you were born to stand out."
                      - Dr. Seuss
      If you have a motto write it in a comment and tell me why its your motto.

Listen to this

       From the time you were little until now, people always told you to be yourself and not to care about what others think of you. As you get older and start to go through thinking about things differently you'll notice that some of those people who told you to be yourself are making you feel like you should change some of those little things that make up you.

      Now I'm saying this very politely, girls have their emotions right in front of their faces. So, when they get upset, they don't really realize that those people may have made them sad for a reason. Now, boys on the other hand will get upset, maybe hold a grudge and shake it off. Let me tell you, its very easy to hold everything and anything up inside of you but, from experience it helps to talk to someone wether it be a parent, family member, guidance counselor, or a friend.

      When you turn 11-13, things may seem confused and upside down, but it will all turn around. I know some people who have to go and talk to someone, like a therapist. If you feel uncomfortable talking to your parents about things that are very personal, or are things you don't want them to know, go talk to a guidance counselor or a therapist. That way if this person thinks its important to tell a parent they will, but if there is no harm or danger they have to keep it to themselves.

      Life isn't a walk in the park. There are times you do need help, and its okay to admit that you do. In fact it helps you in life. Life can be stressful and there isn't a person in the world who can tell you how to go through life. There is no right or wrong way to be who you are in life.

      With that i say: " You are a misfit born to fit, and a puzzle just waiting to be solved"
                                                                                                           - Isabella DiGesare

Hey

                     Hello sorry for not responding. Every time I come to write about something, I can't think of it. So here it goes, Christmas is an amazing time of year. It's not about getting its about giving. And not really even that it is about spending time with your family and telling them," I love you, I love you, I lovvvvve youuuuuuuu." quote from Elf the Movie.

                      Everybody has a tradition, mine is on Christmas Eve I go to my Uncle Joe's,  and after we leave there we go to Aunt Nancey's. I love traditions, you can't have a holiday without them. Any tradition big nor small is special and everything about those few seconds is amazing. Even if its just your ornament that always goes on the tree first, its the little thing's that count.

                      Life is special and you have to appreciate what you've got so always know your traditions. They are the little things you need to remember about your life. Nothing is more important than what you do as a family, Christmas and tradition's are all part of that special part of your life. 

A plain old rambling

 Hey sorry for not responding earlier but August seems to be a very busy month! I'm going on vaca. I'll be attending a bunch of Birthday parties, Surprised and planned. Quite a fine percentage of my family have birthdays in August, or at least during the summer. My point is with me being busy in all I just don't have as much time to sit down and write...entry's. The same thing will happen when the school year starts, I'll either be writing more or ...less! I hope I don't sound as if I'm complaining because I'm not, I love being really busy... most of the time. I always wish that I had more time to spend because throughout the day I'd rather be hang-en with friends instead of  having a full schedule. Well enough rambling to you! Ha.Ha.Ha. Just kidding get it?(wow tough crowd) Well, Bye, Bye.